Imposter Syndrome

Raise your hand if you've ever struggled with imposter syndrome.

Last weekend, I toed the line at a race I've been intensely training for over the last 3.5 months. At this point in my life, I've run 16 marathons, countless half marathons, and have completed almost 40 training cycles ... And I knew going into this race that this was the strongest I've been in a long time.

But when I entered my corral and looked at the runners I'd be running with and against, all I could think of was "Omg they all look so fast. What the hell am I doing here?" I started comparing how they looked vs. how I look. I started to doubt my training and what I was capable of. I started to forget about all the strength, speed, and endurance I've built and instead focused on my insecurities.

As someone who has studied the power of mindset and knows how critical it is, I knew how important it was to get my head out of my ass and get focused if I wanted any shot at achieving my race goal. As I crossed the start line and found my pace, I said to myself (outloud) "I deserve to be here."

I repeated that phrase to myself over and over until I believed it.
I deserve to be in this corral.
I deserve to be running alongside the 1:30 pacer group.
I deserve to feel proud and confident and strong because I've put in the work.
I came back to that phrase every time I started to feel even a sliver of doubt creep in.

The result?
Not only did I keep up with the 1:30 pacers ... I blew past them.
I ran 13.1 miles in 1:29:36 which led me to a massive PR and a New York City Marathon qualifying time.

The moral of the story?
We all experience imposter syndrome. No matter how advanced we get in our training, our career, our passions … It’ll creep up every now and then.
You can either choose to let it take over or you can remind yourself that you deserve to be there. Over and over and over until you start to believe it.